Withnail: And we want them here, and we want them now! Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. Withnail: Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Time change. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! Add spice to it. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! I'm getting the *fear*! Danny: Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. let him get his drugs out! Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. Were incompatible. Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. There can be no true beauty without decay. And how dare you tell him I love you?! You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Here is the clip. Monty: How dare you call me inhumane?! Monty: Here hare here. What are you doing up here, then? If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Matter. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. by Anonymous: . I was merely making an observation. Quotes and one-liners: . C*nt give him two years. What should we do? Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. How dare you. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Half an hour? The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Jesus Christ! Withnail: You're not leaving me in here alone. You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. I often wonder where Norman is now. Marwood: Give me a downer, Danny. I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. And you'd be marvellous. And we want them here, and we want them now! . If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Marwood: Withnail: Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Marwood: Voila! He had a weight under his fez. Me? [cockily] Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. Where's the aspirins? Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Thanks! Give in to it, boy. The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news! Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Flowers are essentially tarts. We're working on a film up here. Marwood: There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. What have you done to them? "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Just run at it! Isaac Parkin: [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] Why have you drugged their onions?! Prostitutes for the bees. Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Danny: Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. Danny's here. Withnail: Marwood: We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. How you feel. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. It was like walking into a lung. Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Withnail: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Course you have, you're the poacher. Withnail: Withnail: Murder and All-Bran and rape. What have you done to them? Danny: I recommend you smoke some more grass. Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? Give it a chance. Withnail: Half an hour? He went to the other place, Monty. Black puddings are no good to us. . Stand aside! Marwood: [high-pitched voice] Withnail: Eggs and things. This *is* the morning. This is a British cult classic. Monty: Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! Marwood: I feel unusual. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! Withnail: Don't be ridiculous. [holding him back] Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Withnail: Then the fucker will rue the day! We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. [while high on drugs] He told me about your problems. Especially that pimp! I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. [narrating over scene] I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. It's like Greenland in here. I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. My thumbs have gone weird! Withnail and I Quotes. Marwood: Marwood: Get out of it for a while. This doesn't go down at all well. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Withnail: Monty: Withnail: That's a very good idea. Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Old suit? This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. How can it be so cold in here? Uncle Monty: Sherry? Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. You got a rush. I could hardly piss straight with fear. Marwood: I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Parkin's been. A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! I've no idea. What's your name, MacFuck? You want working on, boy! Reflecting these times. Then they must be delighted with your career. Give me a downer, Danny. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Danny: Brings back such memories of Oxford. Making an enemy of our own future. grant . Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. There's nothing out there except a hurricane. Here comes another fucker! I must be ill. Monty: Let him get his drugs out. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. Especially that little pimp! It's like a tide. Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. Talk:Withnail and I. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Withnail: Withnail: His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Prostitutes for the bees. Who fucks arses? [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Why don't you go back? Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. Marwood: Yes, as a matter of fact I have. It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. It's all your fault. Danny: Peter Marwood ("I"): Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Monty: Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. A coward you are, Withnail! A coward you are, Withnail! I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. [after a phone call with his agent] My brain's capsizing. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. withnail. . [voiceover] Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Withnail: I called him a ponce. What happened to my cigar commercial? An expert on bulls you are not! Withnail: Look at my tongue. *You'll all suffer*! You're not in the same boat. "I'm going to pull your head off." I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Get that damned little swine out of here! I could take double anything you could. Jake: Scrubbers! The entire sink's gone rotten. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Oh, how I tried not to. Withnail: If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. Add spice to it. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Look at Geoff Woade! St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. [whispering] Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Withnail: Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Policeman 1: The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! Sherry? All right, this is the plan. You been away? I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. You don't understand. Have you been at the controls? What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? withnail. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Sophocles. Withnail: [spits onto the ground] The older order changeth, yielding place to new. I've told you why. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. It's got to warm up. Outvie him. Withnail: Marwood: Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. He's lent us his cottage. Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! Danny: And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Talk. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Thought I was going for a minute. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! It's you he wants. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. Withnail: Danny: Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Marwood: No, no, you can't. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry - neither did they. I'm not gonna understudy anybody. Chin-chin. Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! Withnail: [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. Have you had any training in the martial arts? Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Withnail: The thermostats! Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Monty: Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. [Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon] Here.". Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Rejuvenate? moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. It's like great yellow sock. "Here. Tea Shop Proprietor: I must have some booze. [toasting with a drink] [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] How dare you tell him that?! It won't be the first time I've been left with the couch. We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. Headhunter to everyone. You don't deserve such loyalty. You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. Oh, Christ almighty. I adore you. Listen to me, listen to me! The carrot has mystery. You've got soup. Monty: That is an unfortunate political decision. Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. Marwood: Withnail: We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. This ain't fancy dress." He can eat his fucking radish. Find *anything*. This was more like a long white hat. Withnail: Tactical necessity. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. The school in fiction Poetry. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! report. tags: humour, withnail-i. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. It's impossible, I swear it. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Listen to this. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Marwood: Change down, man. [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. General: Withnail: I've already put two shilling pieces in. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! What are you talking about, Danny? If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. [offering Monty a glass] [pulling some goo out of the sink] Danny: Jake: You lead him astray. I want something's flesh! The wankers on site don't drink it because they can't afford it! Marwood: You won't keep us anywhere. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. You mustn't blame yourself. Dont be ridiculous. Offer him yourself. [voiceover] Jake: [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. That's politics, innit? Please don't. How dare you! Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: I know you're not asleep, boy. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Your sensitivity overwhelms me. Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. You're out of your mind! How noble in reason! Withnail: It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. Withnail: Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. I demand to have some booze!. I'll sleep here. Of course you are! It's society's crime, not ours. What do you want? We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! Mrs. Parkin: Danny: Withnail: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! you little traitors. "Withnail and I Quotes." But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" I don't want to hear it. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! [about Danny] What is it? I've absolutely no interest in yours. Well, don't. Now, look, you. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Imagine the size of his balls. I don't want to hear anything. Danny: Withnail: Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". You want working on, boy. Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! Withnail: I've looked into it. Marwood: Marwood: Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. - Washington Irving. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres That's what you say. Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. How can I possibly know what we should do? https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. And now I'm calling you one. Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. Marwood: Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. [with his mouth full] Your email address will not be published. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. I've only had a few ales. Marwood: Why trust one drug and not the other? [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. Hello? An expert on bulls you are not! Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? They don't like me being on stage. Marwood: We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Withnail: This ain't fancy dress." Because I don't advise it. Withnail: 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Sort of said it without thinking. Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. The thermostats. 1 comment. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Well, I'd hardly say that. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. There's the supper. Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. Hare. Uncle Monty: Oh! 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. Jake: I tried not to. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Bates novel I'd read. [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Im in a park and Im practically dead.