I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. Okay.
Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer.
Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. What does it mean for my marriage? But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. female
I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. I'm not condoning what I've done, and it's a totally different set of circumstances, but I remember wishing I had never known about the stupid kiss, as it tainted things for a while afterward. It didn't feel real. So what do you think? (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) They need to hold people more accountable to commitment. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." That is what separates the women from the girls. Past is something you cannot change. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). It was just a kiss. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. He left and went to the lake. Truth-seekers are never popular. I can't stop playing it over again and again.
But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. This recently happened to me.
But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. Login first
I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. But living a lie would be so much worse. . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. Your choice, as ever. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. lover.
Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. Hi Scope! He has morals. I'm so confused. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . My SO and I had been dating two years. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. Lee.. you are too funny. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Add your answer to this question! It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. There's a difference between sex and kissing. Well, time for some fun questions: would you be telling him about it just to alleviate your own guilt? Or do I? he said the situations arent at all the same bc he doesnt feel turned on by me kissing another guy the way i do from a male on male kiss. It happens, in other words. Perhaps this one is geared more toward the ladies, but I feel pretty confident in assuming that no matter the . Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy.
We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. You already have internalized that part. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like:
So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" Any help or advise would be much appreciated. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! Not Opening Up To You Anymore You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) Ugh, basically. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. Why? I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs..
A relationship with a man is supposed to be specifically platonic, says YouTuber David Godinez, while filmmaker James Rath says that men are told not to be physically intimate. The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A
View related questions:
I was very drunk. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. Will the guilt ever go away? Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. With the other woman just across the room! Still, now that the courts are coming down wider and heavier on emotional abuse, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. And I have never cheated myself. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. I'll see you over there. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. She said this is how it starts. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A
Wow! What is he supposed to do with this information? If he is like me, its a choice. Well you need to figure that out and fast. male
Wouldn't you? ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. I want to break down and cry. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. WORK. "what the hell where we at?" Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. You cheated. This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. JavaScript is disabled. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Your Drinking Behaviour. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). I couldnt take it so I told him. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account?
Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. Biological ones. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? We were not drunk. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? It is the gateway to another feeling. Kissing a man, I've just got into over the past couple years. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. Thinking of it over and over again will affect you mentally, and make it worse. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. For starters, you've no way of knowing whether this other woman *was* genuinely asleep or whether she might gossip to someone who goes and gossips to someone else, etc.. Plus, you don't know what this bloke might choose to do or whom he might blurt it out to the next time he gets drunk (back and forth male posturing on a lads' night out, for example)! instead of:
Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. Other than that, I've said everything that needs saying soyou lot carry on if you want, but I'm sat back, counting the money. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. The way it happened-not so good! (I wonder why.) Oh my god, (Brodie)bit my tongue! yells James. :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. That was crazy' and other awkward things. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. Please help me. PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. I am giving him space to think. I could go on about a lot of things here. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. Okay. get into counselling. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Should find time to respond tomorrow. He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'"
Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. I dont believe in innocent kiss. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. Yes it hurts..
Then (my name) I NEED SEX! Fear holds you back. For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. That's alright, that's a common mistake.
(PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. This of course over a year ago. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. Period. Translation: I believe I wish to say, what the hell, what were we doing only I have a competing urge to chose a phrase that could be taken two ways, to ask, where are we at aka what happens with we two now? ;-)). Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. I was correct, she struggles with trust. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. 3. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. Because just as everyone else is saying, if you did the RIGHT thing, you shouldn't feel guilty. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . I felt disorientated. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. (That'll do me nicely! Houston, we have a problem. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. Jam, your wife holds the cards. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. I don't see any good coming from me confessing, only hurt and upset and doubt, and think my time would be better spent working on my relationship, and working through the issues that are putting so much pressure on us at the moment.
I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. I love your stories, Foxie. If you. You're the worst! And the tricky piece de resistance
lover. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. There is more going on. Make it up to him by being an awesome girlfriend. I told him straight away what had happened. I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. What should I do. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" | Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. male
I had text my husband so he knew where I was and that was ok. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. I wouldn't want to hear about it if I were in his position. One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. female
And Brodie groped James. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol!
Not just to you. It didn't feel real. I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. Team spirit is this:
As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. Damn, my husband is such a good person and we were together for almost 7 years now. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk.