When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", 4. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? if (a[a9]) return; Its a great feeling. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' born on May 12, 1937, ! 3. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Deal with it. I think that speaks for itself. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Theres a humorous side to every situation. var googletag = googletag || {}; George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; And fight songs. window.Mobvious = {}; Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. Like the boogie man. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Its interested in its own power. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. } George Carlin. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Lets get started! Just daydreaming. 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Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? Weve added years to life, not life to years. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. They own you. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. A.src = t; Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. } George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin And fight songs. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. He loves you. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. Enjoy! I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. for(var i=0; i