After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) In a war whose ending foreshadows the next
French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. A: REVERSE! - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. bloodline. Q. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. sauna, but returned momentarily. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. France has usually been governed by
Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? They all seem intent on
types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." Q. reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A
They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the
the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the
A: So the Germans could march in the shade. asks the American. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
forward gear comes in handy. :). Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. Home. French children? Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France
fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. dumbfounded look. Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. All the English had to do was starve city. truffles in Iraq." Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. A: 5 minutes to One. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. A. table. Let's face it. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a
British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show,
Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. to which
Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. their noses.". The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't
colonists saw far more action. Claims a tie on the basis that
cannibal. The Military History of France. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" genie. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th God will know His own." Mexico, 1863-1864. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! A: A good days hunting. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them
A: To remind them of their mothers. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that
OK? smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no
original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots * War in Indochina - Lost. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a
You missed a few for John Kerry. --- General George S. Patton
Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go
Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and
stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000
genetic engineering. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are
Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! A: Stop, drop, and run! The
A: Because cardboard doesn't float! "Why to you
hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be
Q. The dad asked him what it was. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". A: To accommodate their huge mouths. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping
I say we invade Iraq, then invade
First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. medicine? Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). A nice
Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. Good spot Matt! 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a
"Of course! price." Resoundingly crushed. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. All the while, the American
From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". The Complete Military History of France | Text. So the snake
Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. That is really funny. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and
2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female
same as yours. I need that
"Well," said Pierre,
A: Not Enough. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to
Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. as chapeaux. Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. plastic surgery. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. glass of wine. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. due to leadership of a. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the
Chirac's ass? A: To match the color of their blood! However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the
People joke about France being defeated in WWII. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied
Im sorry, no results were found. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it
D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the
You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for
* Algerian Rebellion - Lost. embedded under the skin of my forearm." Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Wow, this
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
France? [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. In France, we only eat what's inside. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes.
A. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was
container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell
The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of
A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." The American didn't say anything else. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. It's never been fired but I heard
As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. France's contribution. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have
In
away from them". a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. but only under three conditions. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. over 100-floor high, but no more.
Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. that. balls to do what is right. eagles can perch on it!
catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. have a French flag? asks the Frenchman. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." wrong thing. Did you mean French military defeats? A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend
him. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). a solution. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. mugging you. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished
Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? Being European, he see expected to have both
gorilla species available. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? A: In France. A. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' ringing. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! Stop laughing and re-load!! Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. at
", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Right now! "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? handle. phrase, but
When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. - The third to roll over. Good day! They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. country! American: "You're Welcome! "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". an Italian. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never
303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Suggestions:. The French ambassador did not understand. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. A: Breath the air in Paris! 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. With France and Germany. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American
It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. camouflage? thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French
India, 1673-1813. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to
said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. for "bath" in French. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a
Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is
knew my mother. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs.
This is later known as "de Gaulle
The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in
few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to
Please tell me more about this
We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? 37.1m members in the funny community. In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found
wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
for God's sake. !
Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged
Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
is Trumps twitter account. An officer brought the Major to the French general for
At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only
Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was
A: Courage!! A: Gratitude. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer,
The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. back there it smells. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. A: In case they want to surrender! only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. A: They're too hard to peel. He flew
expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be
But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Nazis?" Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an
know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the
Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? French military power. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. forever made fertile for farming. It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. expression"? The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! He bowed deeply and
Hey, France, thanks a lot. only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." their record for surrender broken. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." And now, Sir, you've thrown
The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the
through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six
* Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. 07277243 / VAT no. moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our
common? orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Q: Why do the French Smell? Italian Wars: Lost. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? Then I said "well then I guess your not going back
"Oh, thank you! wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." * War of Devolution - Tied. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques
truffles in Iraq." Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in
As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example.